Bpd discard And while it's still true that hurt people hurt people, let me tell you: night and day difference thanks to a genuine sense of accountability . Our mission is to help spread BPD awareness. She had a bad youth, and her parents are assholes. Understanding this cycle is the first step towards navigating the complex emotions and reactions it engenders, aiming to create a more stable and supportive partnership. The rates of NPD/BPD and ASPD/BPD were higher among women. . Jan 1, 2021 · 24-hour live discussions about Borderline Personality Disorder with other family members Splitting, Silent Treatment, Discard - how do you deal with it? Diagnosis + Treatment Hey there. You became the worst person in the world out of the blues. com provides support, education, tools, and perspective to individuals with a loved one affected by Borderline Personality Disorder. ‍ Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) BPD is a mental health disorder characterized by intense emotional swings, fear of abandonment, unstable self-image, and impulsive behaviors. X Research source Because people with BPD battle nonstop self-negativity, they seek continual reassurance from outside sources. Archives of general psychiatry, 68(8), 827–837 BPD discard: They loved you as their perfect partner, thay days later, they hate you and push you away without explanation, tell you mean thing, blames you for everything. Sep 18, 2019 · Borderline personality disorder exists on a spectrum, with attention usually given to only one end of that spectrum. Smokers were also more likely to have BPD. Individuals with BPD may engage in intense, fluctuating relationships, leading to instances of emotional and sometimes physical abuse. The New Book On Borderline Personality Disorder. The grief you feel is simultaneously that of a mother losing her child, and a child losing its mother at the same time. Then, after the second discard (the one as friends) she blocked me for 9 months. It's pretty much the hallmark cycle of borderline love. I was called an abusive man,mentally ill man and she withdrew from me. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex psychological condition characterized by unstable emotions, patterns of thought, and behaviors. Jul 23, 2021 · "Quiet BPD" (Borderline Personality Disorder) is a subtype of BPD that has not been officially included in the DSM. I haven’t reached out but I also haven’t had a peep from her. There is a link to the original study which has very interesting tables. They discard always be generally the same due the lack of empathy and BPD will "disassociative emotional detach" from the high stress and anxiousness of such event Jun 14, 2022 · Frequently Asked Questions About Borderline Personality Disorder. Knowing they are the victim, the BPD then walks away, completely detached emotionally and never looks back again at their “abusive partner”. Jan 30, 2023 · Love bombing is a term used to describe a pattern of behaviors frequently seen in people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Then she reappeared and I took her in and she told me all I wanted to hear then abandoned again. The silent treatment is a temporary discard. Nov 21, 2024 · Borderline personality disorder features and mate retention tactics. I'm desperate for help after a discard with a quiet bpd Jan 1, 2021 · I'll preface this point by saying I do not have a great understanding of this part of BPD . You may not have stereotypical BPD symptoms such as frequent anger outbursts – instead, you suffer in silence. J. Mahari has a new ebook available now called, Punishment and Revenge In Borderline Personality Disorder – The Unmastered Talionic Impulse In BPD – What Loved Ones Need To Know. And finally the BPD will discard their partner. I experienced it too; a devastating emotional effect upon me at the time. And coping with someone’s borderlines emotional reaction cycle can be tiring. com Mar 6, 2025 · Psychotherapy can help people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) learn to cope with maladaptive thought patterns like idealization and devaluation. This is kind of long, but man is it significant. I really tried a lot and even read up on BPD and how to be a supportive partner and was re assuring and calm during each previous meltdown or previous push pull just to be blindsided when just a week previous we were on a family holiday together and there were discussions of moving in together etc and having had an genuine open conversation. Devaluation involves a shift in the person’s perception of others, where they view someone they previously idealized or held in high Sep 6, 2017 · I once had a client tell me they felt their son would “use me for money and then discard me when he got ready. A. Mar 25, 2020 · As a side note, when a NPD/BPD says, “You’ve changed” they mean, “You’re not letting me get away with my usual behavior. Information about Borderline Personality Disorder For Loved Ones, family members, and Ex Partners - BPD Relationships and Breakups & Codependency BPD Relationship Recovery. I'm about 2. ~ 24% had comorbidity with another personality disorder. Dec 23, 2022 · Borderline Disconnectedness and Inability To Relate As a BPD survivor, I recovered almost 40 years ago, I explain the deep and extremely pervasive abyss of Borderline Personality and the profound disconnectedness that drives all aspects of Borderline behaviour (abuse) and inability to relate in healthy, consistent, or congruent, even remotely healthy ways in relationships. Sep 5, 2019 · Ten-year course of borderline personality disorder: psychopathology and function from the Collaborative Longitudinal Personality Disorders study. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) that can help people with BPD develop stronger coping skills, improve their interpersonal relationships For me, the relationship with a classic pwBPD is hell, while the discard by a quiet BPD is infernal. You discard relationships easily, leaving the other person in confusion Dec 23, 2022 · buy the book: http://www. And they are terribly destructive if your partner suffers from Narcissistic (NPD) or Borderline Personality Feb 4, 2016 · Forum rules This is a support forum for the family, partners and friends of those with mental health issues. Yet her last relationship and longest ( 4 years ) was since she was 18. May 24, 2021 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is often misunderstood. Wisest Elder Ever Jan 1, 2021 · BPDFamily. Here are some of the most commonly asked questions. After the discard, is the victim at risk of being hoovered for the rest of their lives? Or is there a typical length of time of No Contact that we can start to feel safe? My BPD Ex is a classic - abandoned by her father as a child, used to call me Daddy during sex and had the most extreme case of anxious attachment I've ever seen. A borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that can be difficult to live with. Your arms and Sep 25, 2022 · Narcissism 7 Facts to Know About Narcissistic "Hoovering" Narcissists will try to suck you back into contact with them. Their pattern of relationship is to idealise, devalue and then discard. This channel will not Jan 1, 2021 · 24-hour live discussions about Borderline Personality Disorder with other family members The final discard and now, eight months later - lots of progress Diagnosis + Treatment Similar here. This forum is intended to be a safe place to discuss information, give and receive support and learn about all the issues related to being involved with a person with a disorder. ” Individuals who are not in treatment for BPD and who may have sociopathic traits The BPD then feels entitled to discard the non and blame them for ruining the relationship. Apr 11, 2025 · BPD splitting is a characteristic of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and a few other conditions like narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Been discarded or ghosted and leaving to door open for a BPD Ex to contact you with or with or without responding? "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Jan 1, 2021 · 24-hour live discussions about Borderline Personality Disorder with other family members Topic: What causes the BPD to discard? (Read 6427 times) "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I am sure you have had the experience, a person you know is the last thing on your mind and then you see or hear something randomly Seven months post-discard, I started dating an old friend (and former fwb) who has C-PTSD from childhood trauma and even meets a couple BPD criteria. Jan 1, 2021 · Yes. Having Quiet BPD means you ‘act in’, rather than act out. May 13, 2025 · One symptom of borderline personality disorder is constant feelings of worthlessness. Your ex was the one responsible for staying in love with you and for dealing with BPD. Surviving BPD Relationship Breakup Podcast with. So all the relationships and sex partners were even before she was 18. Diagnosis + Treatment If this is the final discard I can walk away "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). He spent the week prior actively devaluing me, treating me horribly, incredibly moody. BPD Beautiful is your #1 source for BPD recovery and where I documented my treatment during the earlier stages of recovery. Aug 9, 2023 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a multifaceted mental health condition characterised by intense emotions, unstable relationships, and a fragile self-image. You discard relationships easily, leaving the other person in confusion BPD Discard And Ghosting. In some cases you will decide when the final discard happens. What Is Discouraged Borderline Personality Disorder? Discouraged Borderline Personality Disorder (DBPD) is a subtype or variant of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). and they are able to swing back, it’s usually within a short time frame. Now in full discard mode the BPD partner rapidly begins building a case against the nonBPD partner and soon after threatens to report to the police the ex-partner’s efforts to communicate and reach closure. Jul 27, 2021 · Friend with BPD, and discard: Reply: Thread Tools: Display Modes #1 Jul 27, 2021, 09:57 AM Fuzzybear. Mine was. Mar 17, 2017 · Being diagnosed with a personality disorder can be discouraging at first. I’ve been unblocked for 5 months now. Quiet BPD looks different from ‘typical’ BPD. ly/borderlinegirlfriend What is the "Final Discard"? Can you avoid getting discarded by your borderline girlfriend?Join this cha. Journal of personality disorders, 26(3), 334-344. But her cycle will get faster and you'll get treated worse as each cycle passes. We look at the symptoms, causes, and treatments, along with some resources that can help. Feb 8, 2025 · Saturday, February 8, 2025 BPD Discard - Keeping The Door Open For Contact? BPD Discard - Keeping The Door Open For Contact ? BPD Discard. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by impulsive and self-destructive behavior, "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Dated • The grief you feel is not the grief of a typical breakup. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Resist it. If you’re new here, my name is Sarah Rose and I am in remission from borderline personality disorder. For me, it really couldn’t go past 24-48 hours because my anxiety would be through the roof. Jun 26, 2016 · I have heard of a BPD getting revenge or punishing others, but I am wondering if discarding is also a symptom of BPD? I feel like a rush pushing away someone who stressed me out because she was really demanding and acted like I owed her something. Inner child work is KEY to some recovery from abuse, esp BPD abuse. Recovering that sense of self, before we were influenced by expectation, rules, possibility and disappointment is such an important piece of re-tracing the steps of where our values come from and how we present ourselves in the world. When these symptoms are directed inwards, not outwards, some people call Jan 1, 2021 · its hard to know whats in someones head. So all the first discards (I can't even tell how many of them there was over almost 2 years of r/s) were accompanied by terrible anger, name calling, blame etc. Jul 29, 2021 · Quiet BPD is an unofficial term for when you engage with symptoms inwardly, instead of outwardly. devalue, discard' is thought to help the person regulate A borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that can be difficult to live with. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Mar 4, 2023 · Listen to "BPD Breakup What is The BPD FINAL DISCARD? Go From Limbo To End Of Breakup Cycles" on Spreaker. Likely many here know a bit about the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5, specifically unstable or changing relationships, frequent mood swings, consistent feelings of sadness and We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Both NPD and BPD discard but the NPD can discard for no apparent reason whereas the BPD will discard when you are of no more use Or rather when they have extracted the maximum from you NPD is a lot more refined but they lack empathy and can be more vicious than the BPD BPD is chaotic and NPD is composed Jun 29, 2024 · What Is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterized by a deep-seated fear of being alone , culminating in intense and often volatile behavior. One of the most painful experiences in relating to someone with BPD is when they devalue and discard their partner or friend. Then she went MIA for many things,unexcused absences,lied to me,picked fights with me and it sent me into a severe depression. Jan 1, 2021 · Just shy of a week before the discard, she told me over the telephone that she was really frustrated with me for taking too long to propose, voiced her frustrations about the financial mess in her life, said it was driving her crazy that she wanted me intimately but couldn't be with me me until we were married (made a promise to her church to Oct 18, 2021 · The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD) can intersect, making it difficult to determine which disorder is at work in a relationship. This is a reddit community to welcome all who have a relationship (platonic, romantic or family) with someone suffering from BPD. Mar 6, 2025 · The shift from idealization and devaluation is called splitting in borderline personality disorder (BPD). Jan 1, 2021 · Hi! I was wondering if your final discard was different than previous discards in your r/s with BPDs. Both are bad, with the main differentiating factor being which part of the relationship history most likely feels the worst. Posted September 25, 2022 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader Jan 1, 2021 · The description of quiet borderline personality disorder is chilling. How Do Borderlines Handle Relationships? Jul 13, 2022 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that causes intense emotions and impulsive behavior. They struggle with trusting and communicating properly, and a slight shift in the relationship may trigger intense emotions, which can cause impulsive decision-making. Their experience of love might be different and potentially more intense, but with understanding, patience, and professional help, they can navigate the complexities of relationships and build meaningful bonds with their loved ones. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Covert narcissists may silently withdraw and leave without explanation, while individuals with BPD may have emotional outbursts and then cut off contact abruptly. Feb 23, 2024 · The BPD relationship cycle, characterized by a repeating pattern of idealization, devaluation, and often discard, can be a source of significant emotional turmoil. You can check my posts if you want a more detailed account of it all. Sep 1, 2010 · BPDFamily. The non is left traumatised and completely confused, and left asking themselves if they were the abusive one. One day she loves me and the next I am tossed away and she is gone. BPD Splitting: Introduction If a BPD sufferer splits with a loved one, FP etc. But if a person has to have one, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is the best. Manipulation, difficulty controlling and regulating emotions, and the consequences of fear of abandonment are the most common causes of this behavior. Feb 7, 2024 · BPD Breakup & Codependency Recovery - Learning more to understand BPD is important but learning more about yourself and Codependency is what you need to get "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Oct 5, 2023 · Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects a person’s ability to manage their emotions, negatively impacting their relationships. I found out about bpd after the random discard via text. The BPD then feels entitled to discard the non and blame them for ruining the relationship. Stay strong. usually the person that does the leaving in a relationship has already grieved the relationship, at least largely - the person that is left has not. This article outlines the various stages of a relationship involving someone with BPD and strategies for managing each stage effectively. When they sense instability in their relationship, they fear abandonment, become anxious, and engage in impulsive behaviors to retain their partner but ultimately harm both their partner and the relationship. The idealize-devalue-discard cycle is now very well known in the toxic relationship recovery literature. Knowing they are the victim, the BPD then walks away, COMPLETELY DETACHED EMOTIONALLY and never looks back again at their abusive partner. Jan 1, 2021 · 24-hour live discussions about Borderline Personality Disorder with other family By far the most helpful words I read about BPD discard (Read 11564 times) Nov 10, 2019 · It's very often said that borderlines go through three phases in their relationships - idealize, devalue, and discard. ” When they say, “ You need to go to therapy and get help ,” it means, “ You need to stop holding me accountable and go back to the way you were before, even if it means taking medication you don’t need and We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. May 6, 2022 · This is the most brutal Narcissistic / Borderline Discard I’ve ever heard of. Everything made sense in terms of that. After the initial discard I waited 3 months for her to reach out before caving and messaging her. Jun 28, 2024 · In the context of borderline personality disorder (BPD), “devaluation” refers to a psychological defense mechanism or coping strategy that people with BPD may employ in their interpersonal relationships. At first the BPD person will idealize their partner, then take their partner off the pedastal and devalue them. Borderline love bombing uses demonstrations of affection and emotion to catch and keep someone’s interest. BPFamily is a non-profit, co-op of nearly 75,000 volunteer members and alumni formed in 1998. Most of us are very familiar with the concepts of idealization, devaluation, and discard (and the repeating cycle of push/pull that comes out of that pattern). You may appear calm and high functioning, instead of ‘exploding’, you implode and collapse from within. I never really said anything to her about her To conclude, people with Borderline Personality Disorder can love and be loved. People with narcissistic tendencies tend to see others as objects to meet their needs and will discard them when it is no longer met or the person adds no value. It seems like this is a common experience within this group (I'm also wondering if some of your partners also have BPD/other comorbidities, and if that may or may not influence their actions?) I'm just genuinely curious to hear from BPSOs if you've never discarded a loved one or from folks who's BPSOs have never discarded them and what your "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The illness may have increased your ex's negative emotions, but it's not something you or your ex can put the blame on. But, I would imagine even if you are "out of sight and out of mind", the pwBPD could still come across something in their life which reminds them of you. We aim to help one another build the tools needed to help the person we love get through their journey to treatment, as well as support each other with understanding of BPD and what it can cause. Jun 14, 2022 · Frequently Asked Questions About Borderline Personality Disorder. How Do Borderlines Handle Relationships? Jan 1, 2021 · its hard to know whats in someones head. It affects the way people think, make decisions, and interact with others. Jul 27, 2024 · What are the Final Discard Tactics of a Covert Narcissist Compared to those of someone with BPD? When it comes to bpd vs covert narcissist differences, the final discard tactics can vary. bit. People with BPD characteristically struggle to maintain healthy relationships, so much so that a pattern of unstable and intense relationships is one of its main symptoms. ” When they say, “ You need to go to therapy and get help ,” it means, “ You need to stop holding me accountable and go back to the way you were before, even if it means taking medication you don’t need and May 24, 2021 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is often misunderstood. Seriously someone explain it. that doesnt preclude the person who left the relationship from missing the person they left, only illustrates how both experience the breakup differently. One of the prominent features of BPD is splitting, a defence mechanism that profoundly impacts how individuals with the disorder perceive themselves and others. Borderline personality disorder is an often misunderstood mental health condition with it having similarities to other disorders such as disorganised attachment and narcissism. It's characterized by specific traits and behaviors that differentiate it from other subtypes. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: New here. Jan 10, 2023 · The intense emotions and impulsive behaviors that are common in BPD can make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. I thought I would never recover, I had never experienced anything like it. Jan 1, 2021 · 24-hour live discussions about Borderline Personality Disorder with other family members. The non (us) is left traumatized and completely confused, and left asking themselves if they were the abusive one. Is some info I’m seeming to find Jul 23, 2023 · Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition characterized by difficulty regulating emotions, impulsive behavior, unstable relationships, and a fragile sense of self. It is a defense mechanism that occurs when a person is unable to hold conflicting or opposing thoughts, and concludes that a person, event, or idea is either entirely good or bad without the "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Some BPD don't discard, but instead get more intense over time. Feb 4, 2022 · Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. Then during discard made me out to be a controlling jealous psycho because I “isolated her from her life” when she refused to even call her friends when I’d prompt her because she’d rather hang out with me than anyone else, worked 12hrs a day every day and would be exhausted so never wanted to do anything, the works. See full list on choosingtherapy. 5 months from my third discard of my quiet bpd parter of 5 years. ~ the greatest decline was seen after 44 years old. People with BPD frequently alternate between idealizing someone and devaluing them. Of all the disorders, BPD has the "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I finally snapped back at him and called him out for it, which triggered the breakup. Jun 23, 2022 · Silent treatment vs silent discard. As you become less and less effective as a drug in numbing their pain. Mar 5, 2018 · If you're wondering what to do when a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship, the first thing you need to do is to stop blaming the illness for the breakup. Mar 31, 2024 · Like moths to a flame, individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are often intensely attracted to one another, pulled in by the magnetic appeal of perfectly mismatched relational styles. From the surface, people with Quiet BPD look different from those with classic BPD. It is the very common pattern that characterizes. dcdf ttlb kxoq wzkcyc laiqc nydgqd lycx owtuh dlryltd gyhtm